Emma Doesn't Know What To Do
by lLovelylLeo
Summary: I wrote this as Julian already being aware of what was going on between Emma, and Mark. I hope you enjoy. Depending on how good/bad this may be I'll probably continue writing more. I wanted a bit of a back story before I get into the real sin.
1. Chapter 1

Emma leaned back in the chair of the training room watching as the younger of the Blackthorns stood in line waiting to show off their dagger throwing skills.

Christina was out showing Diego all of the hidden treasures L.A. had to offer. Emma had been looking for Julian all morning, but she wasn't sure what she would even say when they did cross each other.

Julian had taken the news about her, and Mark surprisingly well. He mumbled something about being happy for them, and left. That was two days ago, and ever since he's been avoiding everyone. He has only come out to attend to the various responsibilities, and to make sure everything was alright. Other than that he has been locked in his studio. He was not interested in seeing Mark anywhere close to Emma, and he didn't think he would be able to handle it.

Julian opened the door to his studio, and took in the sunlight of the open room. He walked down the stairs to the training room to see how everything was going. Ty, and Livvy were discussing what the best stance was, and which daggers they believed were the most aerodynamic. Dru looked at her brother, and sister with clear boredom. This was the last place she wanted to be. When Julian walked in his eyes scanned the room for her. His eyes fell upon golden locks, and his heart started to tug as though there were a string wrapped around it.

Quickly, he scanned the room looking to make sure everyone was accounted for. Tavvy looked up, and started to run towards his big brother. Emma was so beautiful. She was the kind of beautiful that people got lost in. Each and every day he found something new to be amazed by. The way she put her hair up with ease, and the way her hands, the hands made to kill were also the hands that would brush Tavvy's curls out of his face. Emma looked up as Tavvy started running, and saw Julian standing there. She was admiring the way his shirt clung to his sides, and the way, and the way his eye lit up when he saw his family. Suddenly she didn't know how to move, or how to even keep balance. Her chair went crashing backwards taking her with it. In two long strides Julian was at her side doing everything humanly possible to not make eye contact with her. He grabbed her arm lightly yet reassuringly, and helped her up on two feet.

The heat from Julian's grasp sent flutters through Emma's body, and she could feel the heat start to rise to her cheeks. Everyone was staring at her, and Livvy looked at the two of them with her mouth slightly agape. Emma quickly gave a short smile as to try, and redeem some of the embarrassment she had gone through just moments ago. It wasn't the reason she was blushing though. "You have to be more careful." Julian said with seriousness in his tone, but a slight smile. Emma locked eyes with Julian, and for a moment she forgot all the wickedness she has seen the last few days. She forgot it was forbidden to love your parabatai, and she forgot that she was dating Mark, and she forgot that she wasn't supposed to feel the way she did. It took everything Emma had to look away, and when she did she left the room, and made her way down the long hallway. Her footsteps echoed with each stride. "Wa-wait. Emma. Talk to me please." She heard Julian say as she left. She needed to get out of here, and get away from all of this. She almost made it to the door of her room before she felt a grasp on her shoulder. Without having to ask she knew who was behind her. The smell of cloves, and paint filled the hall, and she leaned back hoping to just catch even a little bit of his warmth.

"Em, talk to me please" Emma wanted to turn around, and throw her arms around Julian, and run her hands through his curls pulling him into her but, that would only cause more hurt. That's the last thing she would ever want for her parabatai for her Julian. "There's nothing to say, Jules." Suddenly, strong arms were on her shoulders, and she was turned around, and her back made contact with the cool stone wall, and she was face to face with both her biggest fear, and her greatest desire.

"Why are you doing this? Of all of the people you could date, Mark?" She suddenly became aware of the pain that was hidden behind those sea green-blue Blackthorn eyes. She saw the pain that she had caused, and it ripped through her like a bullet. "Jules-" she couldn't finish her thought because his lips found hers, and his hands made their way to back of her head as they tangled into her long golden hair. She couldn't catch her breath, but she just wanted this last embrace, and after that she would be able to fix this mess she got them in. "Julian" She broke away from him as they both were trying to catch their breath. "I'm with Mark, and that's something you have to accept." Those gentle eyes that had seen terrible things suddenly mirrored every emotion he was feeling, and for the first time she saw a different person. "I'll never be okay with this. I'm never going to give up on you." With a shake of his head he snapped out of the spell he was under, and he pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning against, and took off the hall.

Julian walked into the training room as if nothing had happened. "Hand me those daggers, Ty"

Emma was leaning against the wall. She was fighting her instinct to go, and fix things with Jules. She wanted her best friend back. She went searching for Mark because he was the only one who understood what she needed right now.

Emma knocked sternly on Marks door, and walked inside. The room was empty, but the opened window gave her all of the information she needed to find Mark. She climbed out on the roof, and saw his eyes scanning the night sky. He too was missing something that had once been an important part of him. Without words needing to be exchanged he lightly tapped the shingled roof next to him, and smiled slightly. Emma sat down next to him, and buried her head into his shoulder, their hair blended into the color of the morning sun, and she closed her eyes no longer afraid to let go, and they silently sat on the roof, and watched the sun disappear,


	2. Drunk Julian

Julian was running out of room to put his finished paintings. His studio was a mess, paint splatter, and shredded canvas decorated the small room. Empty coffee cups lingered around leaving stained circles. Julian let out a deep breath, and slammed his paint brush into the darkest blue he could find. When he painted he put every ounce of his attention into it. Back when he let people watch him Emma would describe it as his own little orchestra. Every movement and, color was precise, as he painted a song that you could see instead of hear. However, that was a long time ago. That was before he, and the rest of the Blackthorns were orphans, and before he fell in love with Emma, and before he lost a piece of himself. Sleep was something he didn't come across lately. It was seldom he could fall asleep let alone stay asleep. He spent his nights painting, and training. This institute had been his home since he could remember, and yet he felt like a stranger among it, and a stranger to his own family. No one understood what it was that he was feeling. He thought that even if everything seemed so far away, and distant he would have his parabatai. He didn't even have her anymore. What he missed the most was being able to say everything without saying a word. He could spend the rest of his life looking, but he would never find someone that understood him like she did.

He stood up, and tore at the cabinets behind him. He ran out of paint. He ran out of the dark blues, and purples, and shades of gray. He checked his watch it was 8:15, and if he hurried he could make it to the store before it closed.

He made his way down the stairs, and went into his room to get a change of clothes. On his way out he heard laughter brewing into the training room. As soon as he walked in he scanned the room for the golden locks, but all he saw was Ty, and Kit. Kit was filled with laughter, and Ty looked up proudly as Julian walked into the room. "That was the funniest thing I've ever heard."

Julian looked around confused. Kit was now on the ground laughing so hard that noise stopped coming out. Ty looked slight unsettled, but his slight smile made Julian feel warm inside. "You'll have to tell me this joke later, but can you look after Tavvy? I need to run out to the store. I shouldn't be long." Kit regained his composure, and assured Julian that everything would be safe in his absence. He was adjusting well, given what he was dealing with the last couple weeks. Julian smiled, and pulled a jacket on, and made his way to the Toyota.

The traffic on the street was light tonight. He made a few turns, and found himself at the Hobby store. The lights inside seemed brighter than he expected. He grabbed a shopping basket, and made his way to the corner of the store that was full of racks of every color imaginable. He filled his basket with new brushes, and paints, and grabbing as many canvases his hand could hold, and made his way to the front of the store.

The store was slowly dimming the lights, and announcing the time, and suggested customers finished up their shopping. Julian was standing in line behind a woman with a cart full of yard. The cashier did a double take when she saw him. Julian was always so unaware of the affect he had on mundane. Emma would constantly nudge at him with her elbow when women looked his way. It was something he grew to ignore. He emptied out the contents on the counter, and smiled slightly to the blonde ringing up his order. Her hair color made him think of Emma, but Emma's hair color was unlike any other color he had seen, and it made every other blonde simply dull. The cashier packed his bags with his supplies, and he said "Thank you." It seemed to have had a profound effect on the blonde because her face turned a lighter shade of pink. When Julian talked to someone he made sure to make eye contact. He was always told it was a sign of respect, but in this case it seemed to make the girl blush with one look of his sea blue eyes.

As he was walking out the sun was completely gone, and the smell of the ocean made him start to miss Emma. He would never be able to look at the shore the same way again. Each grain of sand stood as a reminder of everything that had changed since he rescued Emma from drowning.

He sat in the car, and gripped the steering wheel tightly, because every time he thought of Emma thoughts of Mark soon followed, and he couldn't hate his brother for seeing the amazement that surrounded Emma, but he wished it was him. Every glance they made, and every time she smiled he wanted to be the reason behind it.

Almost instantly a stone wall started to bury the feelings he was currently having. A text came through his phone, and it was from Emma. "Where are you? Can we please talk, Jules?" Jules? The sight of that word made his blood boil. He pressed hard on the screen with a returning message. "Out" he said, and threw his phone on the seat next to him. Instead of going back to the Institute he found himself in the heart of L.A. He pulled into an open spot, and starred hard into the mirror. He ran he hands through his messy hair, and looked back at his reflection.

He got out of the car, and switched into a leather jacket that was loose enough that it was showing his white t-shirt. The neckline was low enough to see part of various runes that covered his body. He took long strides until he found himself surrounded by neon light. He made his way into a bar that looked like it could fall apart at any moment.

The bartender didn't bother asking for ID. This wasn't the kind of place that cared. Julian sat up at the bar, and started drinking anything that he found desirable from fruity Alabama slammers to shots of straight whiskey. For the first time in a long time he wasn't hurting. He didn't care, and anxiety wasn't filling his head.

Suddenly, his phone was blowing up with messages, and instead of replying he tilted his head back with a laugh. He made eye contact with the woman next to him. She turned her body towards him, and he smiled bashfully. "I can't even leave my house without the place falling apart." The woman next to him didn't seem to care about anything he was saying. She saw he was young, and didn't seem to care about where he was, or who was listening. She started running her hands through his hair as she complimented everything from his eyes to his jacket. The bartender walked away from what was happening. He was all too familiar with who she was, and he didn't want any part of it. Julian looked at her with his mouth open slowly leaning in to kiss the older woman.

All of a sudden a gust of wind blasted through the bar causing everyone to look to see who it was. Julian hadn't seem to noticed when a hand yanked him back as he heard a familiar voice say "Julian, by the Angel what are you doing, and what are you doing it with?" Marks eyes were huge with confusion, and he turned to look at Emma. Julian looked up with a grin on his face to see that it was Mark, but he wasn't alone. He was standing tall with his arm around Emma making sure to keep her balanced. She also seemed quite intoxicated. Julian's heart skipped a beat as his sly smile turned into a serious expression, of worry, and confusion.

Emma reached out for the long haired woman with her arm still on the back of Julian's neck. "Stay away from him!" she yelled as she pulled the woman's hand away.

Mark tried everything he could to keep a hold of the blonde, but there was no holding Emma back from anything she wanted. The mystery woman stepped back with a grin a sinister smile that revealed sharp fangs. Julian looked in disbelief "I-I didn't know she was-" "I'm sure you had no idea" Emma looked into Julian's eyes, and what he saw was pain, but even drunk Emma put on a brave face, and looked at the vampire in front of them. "I didn't know you had a thing for fangs." Mark said as he nudged Julian. Julian looked up with such annoyance.

Emma chuckled, "I didn't know that either. He's full of surprises lately. Getting drunk, and hooking up with downworlders must be his new thing." Emma's words were harsh, and her jealousy was pouring out at the seams. All Julian wanted was her, but why should it matter what he does? Mark looked at his brother, and back to Emma, and he had a look that said everything clicked. Everything had made sense to him now. The vampire rushed away before another word could be said. Emma walked up to the bar, "I'll have what he's having." She looked back at Julian with a cold expression. "Also, do you have any vampire women I could make out with? Thanks in advance" The bartender walked away shaking his head. "Nephilim" he muttered under his breath.

Emma turned to walk outside. She was slightly stumbling her way down the sidewalk. "How much did you let her drink?" Julian asked as he grabbed Marks arms pulling him to a halt. "She didn't drink anything. We were up on the roof talking, and all of a sudden her words started slurring" Julian rolled his eyes to the word "talking", "Yeah that's what they were doing" he thought to himself. "You look just as drunk though. I have not known this to be something parabatai shared." Julian turned white, and walked down the street after Emma who at this point was leaning with her head on the hood of the car.

Julian walked up to her, and grabbed her hand, but before he could scribble the letters. I-M-S-O-R-R-Y she was already getting into car. "Whatever, Julian. You're not the only one allowed to feel things. Except what happens to you happens to me, or did you forget that already?"

Julian was stretched out across the backseat as Mark drove them all home. Mark was a little out of tune with the mundane laws of the road because Emma mumbled more than once that stop signs weren't optional. Making it home in one piece seemed like a blessing to them all. Mark got out of the car with a huge smile on his face. He looked down at the car proudly and back up to Julian. "See? Safe, and sound!" Emma and Julian starred at him with annoyance. Emma went to follow Mark up to the steps of the institute, but Julian grabbed her hands steadying her. Mark turned around when he didn't notice footsteps behind him. "I'll be there in a minute." Emma said smiling at Mark. Mark gave her a quick wink, and went inside, but not before he threw his hand up in the air, and said "Goodnight, brother."

Julian waited until he heard the door close. He slowly turned around, and looked at Emma who was looking hard at her chipped nails. "What did you want to talk about?" Julian asked her as she looked up, and made eye contact with him. He looked away slightly trying to avoid the look she was giving him.

"It's nothing. I'm glad you're feeling better, Jules. I'm going to go to bed. Your drinking is going to make both of us feel terrible tomorrow. I need some sleep, and so do you" She started making her way to the steps before she heard the sound of something smashing into metal. Emma turned around to find Julian with his fist pressed into the hood of the car. "Julian!" the silence was deafening "stop calling me Jules. We're not twelve anymore Emma. I'm not your Jules anymore."

Emma looked down swallowing hard. She spent all this time trying to make sure he would move on, but she had no idea what she would do if he actually did. Her mind flashed back to scraped knees, and healing runes. She was remembering Julian before the Dark War when he had no responsibility to anyone but himself. Like a flash of lightning her mind raced forward to the night on the beach, and when he opened the door to his art studio. She wondered if those paintings still existed, or were they destroyed? Before she knew it she found her body gravitating to him. "Is it because of the kids? Is that why you don't want to be with me? Emma, I told you I wanted to run away with you, and I meant it." His words were unwavering, and confident. He was no longer the sweet Jules she's known for most of her life.

She wanted to run into him, and breathe in the smell of Julian. The words that echoed through her head were "power", and "madness", and that stopped her in her tracks. "Remember when you're in pain I feel it too" She looked at him, and walked away. "We have to train tomorrow Julian. We have to get past this." Emma, walked away, and Julian closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

Emma walked into her room, and saw that Mark was waiting for her. He was smashing buttons on his phone muttering something about "crushing all of the candies" he looked up, and moved slightly over to make room for Emma.

He looked towards to painted wall, and looked back to Emma. "In my head while I was with the Hunt I believed many things that I have discovered to be false. You, and Julian had all of this thrown on you, and I was unable to be of any help. To me you are both still the same kids that promised me would stick together." He looked into Emma's eyes, both colors of his eyes reflecting back to him. "When did you fall in love with Julian?" She looked at him with exhaustion in her eyes. He put a stray piece of hair out of her face, and ran his pointer finger down the sharpness of her jaw. "It's okay. I know all too much about forbidden love."

Maybe it was the fact that he was the only person she felt like she had right now, or maybe it was because a part of Julian was also a part of Mark. She leaned in to kiss him, as she reached up putting both of her slender hands around the base of Marks neck a finger went across her lips, and she looked up, and had a stream of emotion flood her mind. She started to fight back tears. Not only was it because she felt Julian pulling away, but because someone finally understood.

Mark looked around, and rubbed her back. His only source of comfort he knew to give was to say that everything was going to work out, but he wasn't so sure that it would.

Julian was back up in the art studio, and emotions rushed him, but he didn't cry, and he swore he wouldn't. He started painting, and as the sun started to come up he stepped back, wiping the sweat matted hair from his forehead, and surveyed his finished work, but instead of him feeling happy about his masterpiece he found himself adding it to the closet of every other piece that had her in it.


End file.
